The Hand That Holds Me ((The Forever Mine Series) Book 1) Read online

  “She volunteers at an area nursing home spending time with the residents and assists with the literacy program at local library. This is something she has done since she was fifteen years old. When she graduated high school, she received an award from the library system in her hometown for 1000 hours of volunteer service in three years.”

  Jason quickly does the math and looks shocked.

  “She was volunteering 25-30 hours a week on top of high school and college classes?”

  “Looks like it. From what I surmised, Maddie is all about giving back and connecting with others. The people I spoke with have all told me how immensely kind she is. She goes out of her way to help others and she spends time with people who are generally alone. I would say she has a good heart.”

  “How did she do it all?”

  “She had a good support network in the Johnson family. They took her in and raised her like their own. They stressed the importance of living a life of service to others and kindness in all matters.” I said, a bit of pride in my voice.

  I need to calm down or Jason will see right through me and realize I have fallen for his daughter.

  “When can I meet her? Do you think you can make something happen for today?” He excitedly said “I would love to take her out for her birthday and spoil her.” For the first time since I walked in, he was beginning to sound like the old Jason.

  “Slow down. I need you to really think this through. How do you think she is going to feel when she opens her apartment door, only to find the father that abandoned her waiting on the other side? If she is anything at all like you, she will slam the door in your face and your chance will be gone. You need to let me make contact with her and gently start the process of you two meeting.”

  “Damn it! I hate that you’re right. I can’t screw this up! I just can’t.”

  “Let me see what I can do and I’ll be in touch in a few days.” I tried to reach across the table to get her picture, only to have Jason snatch it and slide it into his suit pocket.

  “I’ll keep this until I can get one of my own of her. Hopefully.” He replied, standing up and extending his hand in gratitude to me.

  I tried not to show my discomfort with him keeping her picture, only to realize that I have another one at home.

  “Absolutely. I’ll see what I can do to extend the olive branch to Maddie in the next few days and see what I can get worked out. I just need you to be patient.”

  “I’ll do my best, but please hurry. I need her in my life, Lucas. You have to make this happen. I need to explain….” He lets his thoughts taper off and I know he is thinking about Sara again. She is constantly on his mind. The mistakes he made with her that time never allowed him to fix. I just pray that we can save his relationship with Maddie.

  I’m zipped up my jumpsuit and grabbed the harness off the bench. I looked around to see where Caroline had gone and began to walk out of the locker room, humming to myself.

  I tend to hum out loud when I’m nervous, but I’m about to jump out of a plane, so who cares if I hum?

  I walked out into the lobby and I see Caroline flirting with one of the jump instructors who had gone over the safety procedures and what to expect when we arrived. She is still in her cute clothes and I look like I’m about to paint a house in this oversized jumpsuit.

  “Caroline, sweetie, don’t you want to get ready?” I asked her, trying to get her attention from the cute the instructor, who looks like a Navy Seal with all his defined muscles and golden skin.

  “I’m not jumping. I have the next part of your surprise to get ready for.” Without ever taking her eyes off Seal-dude preening himself in front of her.

  Caroline is an absolute knockout. Standing just over 5’ 7”, she has golden blonde hair that falls past her shoulders, green eyes the color of emeralds, and a figure I would kill for. Thin and tiny, compared to my curvy and short 5’ 2”.

  She tried for years to get me to show off my body more, but I never wanted that kind of attention. I want someone to like me for my personality, intellect and sense of humor, and not for my looks.

  “You mean I’m jumping alone?!” I screech. Caroline and Seal-dude both wince, identical looks of amusement on their faces.

  It’s then that I feel a hard body press up against my backside blanketing me in warmth, strong arms covered in tattoos wrapping around my stomach, pulling me tightly into him. I can smell the lust coming off him in waves.

  Josh.

  He pushes his hardness into my backside and slowly kisses the side of my neck, his beard brushing against my heated skin, causing my head to tilt to the side involuntary and eyes to close on reflex.

  Damn this man and his ability to get my panties wet.

  “I’m going up with you, baby. And when we get back on solid ground, I promise to go down too” he breathes into my ear and kisses the sensitive area under my ear causing my body to have an involuntary shiver.

  This man has always known how to push my buttons. He is only a few years older than me, but his experience is so much more than mine. After we broke up, he dated around, all the while, keeping me closer than most girls he was with. I have had more than one girl tell me that I’m the reason they broke up.

  I encouraged him to date but some girls can’t handle him having a female best friend. I internally shrug my shoulders. Oh well, screw them and their insecure asses. Yes, we may occasionally sleep together when we aren’t with someone else but since we broke up, it has been about sex only.

  “That feels so good, but you know we can’t…” I say to him as I turn in his arms and link my hands behind his neck. Pulling myself up to kiss him on chastely on the lips, I can see pain flash in his eyes before he hides it behind his perfect smile.

  “I know,” he smirks down at me as I step away from him. “Can’t fault a guy for trying, can you?”

  I wish I could have opened my heart to Josh. He is such a great guy but I am incapable of trusting anyone with my guarded heart. Maybe life would be easier if I could find someone to take home without all the emotional baggage I tend to bring into a relationship.

  I just smiled at him as I took his hand and walked toward Caroline, who was still batting her eyelashes at the Navy Seal standing in front of her.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to join us, Caroline?” I sing-song to her. “You can keep visiting with Navy Seal dude here on the ride.”

  “While I respect the Seals immensely, I’m an Army Ranger, ma’am. And I was just explaining to Miss Caroline her, that while I’m flattered, I’m also happily married.” His eyes twinkling at the three of us. He obviously loves his wife very much to turn down Caroline. She is a knock-out and any man would be lucky to have her.

  “If you’re ready, let’s get your harnesses in place and get up into the sky. It’s a beautiful day to jump.” Mitch (I read off his name tag on his suit) said as another staff member walked up to us to help Josh get ready.

  After we were harnessed in, I turned to Caroline and hugged her tightly. “Thank you for this. I love you, you know that, right?”

  “I love you too. Now, go carpe that diem Maddie. I’ll see you when you land,” she whispered as she released me from our embrace.

  That’s one thing about us, we are affectionate with each other. Hugging, holding hands, and sometime sharing a bed. It was how she helped me adjust after my mom died and we never stopped. She would hear me crying in bed at night and would crawl in with me, holding me until I felt better.

  I love her and my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Joe for everything they did for me. They are the most amazing family, and I know today’s adventures were, in part, their idea.

  Walking out to the plane, I wasn’t prepared for the roar of the engine, but I knew that this is just the beginning of the noise. The video we watched warned us that the air rushing past us during freefall was going to be tremendous.

  Mitch and I are harnessed tandem with each other and Josh has been harnessed to another instructor.

  As
we taxi down the runway, Josh reaches over and squeezed my hand in a reassuring manner. I am so glad he is here to experience this with me. He really is a good friend and I hope someday he finds the one person who will love him like he deserves.

  After a few minutes in the air, Mitch yells over the sound of the engine and rushing air, “Halfway there!”

  Now, I’m nervous. I’m about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

  What the hell was I thinking adding this to my life list?

  He must have seen something on my face because the next thing I knew I felt Josh squeeze my hand harder. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded my head quickly, trying to show no fear, but I don’t feel like it’s working.

  Its seemed like forever, but in reality, only another few minutes pass when Josh and his tandem partner move toward the planes door and begin to slide the door open. The force of the air causes the hairs around my face to fly around and the force pushes me into Mitch.

  Damn, that man is built like a brick wall.

  “Are you ready?” the instructor yells, barely audible.

  Josh and I both give the thumbs up and the next second, Josh and his partner disappear through the planes open door.

  “Holy shit!” I scream as Mitch positions us in front of the door.

  “Let’s do this Maddie. Remember what your friend said. Seize the day.”

  I nod my head and a millisecond later, I am freefalling through the sky like a stone. I scream like my life depends on it for about 3 or 4 seconds before I open my eyes and see what is happening around me. Mitch has my forehead in his hand, pulling my head back to his shoulder and the beauty of what I see takes my breath away.

  I am in the clouds looking down on the world in complete awe.

  Everything seems so small from up here and I am floating above it, feeling freer than I ever have before. This is what it must feel like to be a bird and able to soar through the sky. I see Josh below me and suddenly he is jerked up past me, as Mitch pulls the cord and our parachute grabs us up from the freefall, as well.

  I begin to cheer and scream with utter delight. Never in my life have I felt so alive and free. It’s as if I could conquer the world that I am so gently floating toward.

  “Did you enjoy your birthday surprise, Maddie” Mitch yells over my right shoulder.

  “It was the most amazing thing I have ever done! I loved it! Thank you, Mitch, for helping me to experience this!” I yelled back in gratitude.

  The ground is quickly approaching and I remember to pull my feel up as far as I can. Begin a short woman, there isn’t much of a chance my feet will interfere with the landing, but rules are rules.

  Mitch touches us back down to earth with the gentleness that, with his size, is utter perfection.

  Moments later Caroline comes running up, joyous screams coming from her.

  I am unharnessed from Mitch and I run to her, Josh meeting us in the middle, for a loud and excited, group hug.

  “That was amazing!” I shouted toward the heavens.

  As we began to move back toward the hanger to get out of the jumpsuits we were wearing, I spot someone I recognize walking out of the building.

  “Jazz? Is that you?” I asked.

  “Who else would it be, bitch?” My goth punk friend asked me, her hands on her hips and a gleam in her eye. Her hair is purple today and I love her crazy sense of fashion. Jazz is covered in tattoos and has done some of Josh’s ink over the last year.

  Jazz was a waitress at a sports bar we spent time at during college and we hit it off immediately. Her quirky sense of style, tattoos and piercings, and over-all don’t fuck with me vibe made me love her so much more. She’s been a part of our inner group for years and to have her here for my birthday made me grateful for all my friends.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, confused, my eyes shifting to Caroline.

  “I’m here for the next part of your birthday surprise.” Her eyes were sparkling with delight “It’s time for that piercing you’ve always wanted.”

  My eyes widened at her words. I’m not a fan of physical pain and that has always been the reason to skip over my deep desire for a nose stud.

  “Maddie, honey, you are full of adrenaline right now. I promise this is the best time to pierce you. You will feel less pain and I have all my equipment set up inside the office. The staff is cool with it and I really want to help you cross another life list item off.” Jazz pronounced, leading me into the office and sitting me in the chair.

  Looking at Carolina and Josh, enormous smiles on their faces, I nodded to Jazz to get started.

  Today was shaping up to be the most amazing day ever and it’s wasn’t even noon. I wondered what else they had planned for me. All my friends knew about my life list and have been helping me add to it. I refused to call it a bucket list; it sounds to morbid and final to me. You should experience as many new things as possible while you are living and not wait until you are dying to be adventurous.

  I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice when Jazz pushed the needle through and placed the silver stud in place.

  “All done. You did great Maddie. It looks so good.” Jazz said, as she cleaned the area and put ointment on it. She handed me a mirror to look at it.

  “Holy crap! I love it!” I squealed, throwing my arms around her neck. “Thank you, Jazz.” I turned to my other friends and the staff who were observing Jazz work. “And thank you all for making my birthday the most memorable one of my life. I won’t ever forget this day or the part you played in it.”

  “You’re welcome” came from all over the room as I stood up and walked toward the car.

  “Let’s roll, people! We have adventures to experience!” I shouted over my shoulder to the group with the biggest smile I’ve have ever had. I love my friends.

  The rest of the day was filled with food, fun and friends. Who could ask for anything more?

  It had been a week since my birthday and I was still floating on a natural high. I felt that, for the first time in my life, I was actually living. I started to realize that I had been surviving life in a safety net and it was time to cut away some more of the ropes.

  I wanted to be bold and daring, something that I had been afraid of in the past.

  “Caroline? Where are you?” I shouted through my open door into the apartment.

  I heard the balcony door close and I knew she had been sun bathing again.

  I met her in the kitchen with my phone, poised to show her my idea. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t going to want a part of this, but I’m going to offer anyway.

  “What were you yelling about?” her eyes showing she had dozed off sunbathing again. I’m sure our the single guys living next door weren’t too upset at it, judging by the small amount of material her suit was made of.

  “I was wondering what your plans were for tonight? It’s my last weekend off this month and I really want to go dancing at that new club in Little Five Points. They put you in a cage over the dance floor for an hour and you get to dance for the crowd. You get tips from the crowd if they like your style and you are featured on the big screens behind the DJ. How about it? You feel like shaking things up tonight?” My eyes going up and down, trying to get her excited.

  “That sounds like fun but I can’t tonight. I’m supposed to be meeting that guy I’ve been chatting with online for drinks.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me it had moved to the drinks stage? While I’m sure it’s safe to meet this guy at a public bar, I can go with you, just in case.” I practically begged her knowing she won’t want a chaperone on her drink date.

  “You don’t have to do that Maddie. I have been talking to him for the last few weeks and you have been in the room when we chatted to start with. You know he is harmless. Besides, it’s just drinks at the bar around the corner.” She shrugged her shoulders like meeting a stranger, alone, isn’t a bad idea.

  “How about this? I’ll get a table at the back of the
bar, you enjoy your drink date with Mr. Harmless and I promise he won’t even know I’m there. Please, Caroline! I just want to know you are safe.”

  Her shoulders moved up and down without her saying a word and a small smile broke out. “Thank you, Maddie. I would feel better if you were there, as long as he isn’t aware that you are.”

  “What are sisters for? Come on! We have to find the perfect outfit for your date with, what is his name again?” I mocked her lovingly.

  We arrived at the little bar a few blocks from our apartment and I made my way to the back of the room, trying to look like I’m meeting someone who is already there. I don’t want to upset Caroline, but I need to make sure she is okay.

  I ordered a glass of house Pinot Noir from the bartender and find a stool at the end of the bar, facing the door. I slowly sip my wine, savoring the fruit flavors as they burst on my tongue, giving me a hint of the oak barrel it was aged in.

  I was looking down at my phone when I felt someone sit in the spot directly next to me. Ugh! Really! You can’t sit in one of the other 20 empty spots at the bar?

  I discreetly moved away from the man whose cologne is definitely all male. Woodsy, with a hint of sex, is all my wine-fueled brain can sense. I haven’t been with a man in more than six months and just having one sit so close and smelling so good was making me think naughty things.

  I giggled to myself at the deliciously naughty thoughts running through my head. People think that only men fantasize about sex, but in reality, women do it too. They think about that sexy man on the motorcycle riding up and ravaging her or the alpha male throwing her down and dominating her.

  We all think about sex, but sometimes I’d allow my brain to run wild as I zone out in my filthy mind. I’m not talking whips and chains or anything crazy like that; I just loved when a man takes charge and I give myself over to the pleasure he gives me.

  Setting my glass down, I realized I drank the whole thing. I guess I needed that drink more than I thought. I nodded my head toward the bartender for another when the man to my right, turned his head toward me.